By Ruth Burke
I have a confession to make. There are parts of my shower that, until very recently, went weeks without being cleaned. I know – it’s horrible. I’d be hiding behind my hands right now if I didn’t need both of them to type.
I have a small bathroom, with a tiny, one stall shower in the back. The bathroom was built in the 1930s and the entire bathroom is covered in period tile, including the shower. There are parts of the shower that get cleaned every week. Those are the parts that are easy to see when you’re standing at the sink or sitting on the toilet. I’ve always hated cleaning showers (and especially showers covered in tile) so I naturally prioritized cleaning the parts of the bathroom that our guests would see, leaving the parts that are very hard to see dirty. I know, I know – this is terrible.
Recently, the kids took an extra long nap so I decided to really clean my shower. I sprayed the cleaner and got down on my hands and knees. It was gross! Mold loves dark, damp corners so those places I had been avoiding, especially the corners where the caulk is uneven and there are lots of bumps, were covered in it. I thought to myself, “if only I had cleaned this weeks ago, I wouldn’t be working so hard right now!!”
As I knelt there scrubbing with all my strength, the Lord spoke to my soul. He showed me that my heart is like my shower. There are parts that are squeaky clean. However, there are parts that I haven’t turned over to Him, and those parts are covered in “mold.”
While I love the parts of my heart the Lord has cleaned out, I like to think that the parts I haven’t turned over to him are static. They may not be getting any better, but surely they aren’t getting any worse, either. So what difference will it make if I leave them uncleaned one more day?
But the Lord showed me that’s a lie. The parts I haven’t surrendered to him are like my shower corners. Mold is slowly growing in them and unless I let Him clean it, it will only get worse. Those strongholds I don’t give up will become stronger, more entrenched and ingrained into my daily habits and routines. Those things I turn to for comfort instead of the Lord will keep leaving me spiritually empty and physically unhealthy. That prayer life I hope to cultivate one day will only get harder to establish.
As painful as it was to clean my shower, I’m so glad I did! It looks miles better and I intend to keep up with the cleaning. As for my heart, I’m grateful to the Lord for revealing its true state to me. “God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10 When I confessed the true state of my heart to the Lord and turned over those corners I’d been hanging onto to Him, His cleansing power swept through and my heart feels more free, more clean and more at peace than I’ve ever been!