Last spring, I worked together with some other campus ministers on a discussion for our university students on beauty and body image. This is typically a topic discussed by women. Increasingly we are becoming aware of many men who struggle with obsessive concerns for their outward appearance as well. I am writing a short series of posts beginning today on beauty. In this post I discuss a biblical perspective on beauty. I also review a book that examines beauty from both a biblical and sociological point of view. As we have planned these posts, we know there are multifaceted issues to discuss, including the pressure minority women face to conform to majority culture (white) standards of beauty. Today I will mainly limit myself to a general biblical starting point.
Our culture idolizes outward beauty or attractiveness. Probably every culture has. Every culture has different standards of beauty, different images to which people aspire. Some are more healthy and realistic (or attainable) than others. Today’s modern world may pose unique problems. Mary Pipher mused in her book Reviving Ophelia that as a result of living in a more mobile, transient culture, character has less opportunity to be known and therefore people are more likely to be judged on outward appearance alone. In contrast, in smaller, less transient communities, a less attractive person might be seen as more appealing because their character commends them so highly over time to those who know them.
The Bible acknowledges the deceptive focus that outward beauty can have in human relationships. King Saul cut an imposing appearance (1 Samuel 9:1-3) and looked the part of a great leader, yet he proved to lack character for leadership in critical ways. God set him aside as king and ended his line of succession. When God sent Samuel to the house of Jesse to anoint Israel’s new king from among Jesse’s sons, Samuel assumed a handsome older son to be God’s natural choice. “ But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees; man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’” (1 Samuel 16:7) Proverbs 31:30 is a well known verse: “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” I could add Peter’s admonition to wives to focus on character more than on beauty in 1 Peter 3:3-4.
Yet the Song of Solomon speaks much more approvingly about beauty. The lovers in this short book speak eloquently about how beautiful they find each other physically (See chapter 4 of the Song of Solomon). There is no suggestion that they should not look at each other with the delight of romantic love. Romantic love needs a sturdy foundation of holy commitment to one’s spouse, but physical attraction plays a large part in God’s plan for sexual intimacy.
Authors Cynthia Hicks and Karen Lee Thorp wrote Why Beauty Matters in 1997. It is a book for women, talking about women’s need to feel beautiful and the discouraging realities of how having a beautiful outward appearance can unfairly attract potential marriage partners and influence career success. They grapple with the Scriptures as well as with sociology. It is an excellent book. I wonder if they were to revise it now, if they might add anything about the newly visible (though probably not new) struggles for men, as well as struggles for minority women. Hicks and Thorp talk frankly about the unfair advantages at every stage of life that beautiful humans have over less beautiful humans, as defined by the culture they inhabit. Babies who are cute are held more, smiled at and talked to more and this translates into those babies having a confident knowledge that they are loved. Women who are beautiful have more suitors and get job offers more readily. But it is also true as the saying goes that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” Hicks and Thorp document that women are their own harshest critics and that while men may initially value looks highly in the choice of someone to date, they generally make a decision to marry based on more factors than appearance. My take away from their book is nuanced: in the real world first impressions are often influenced by beauty, fitness and style. Therefore, it may be counter productive to some of our aspirations in life (career and marriage) to ignore our appearance. Within reason, some cultivation of our outward appearance is helpful, but inordinate focus on outward appearance can be idolatry.
In my next post, I will discuss how I discern an ”inordinate focus,” or idolatry of outward appearance.
But I want to leave you with hope that we follow a God who looks at the heart, and that his people are being inwardly transformed (Romans 12:1-2) by his Word and Spirit to see people as He sees them. Let us strive to treat all as better than ourselves, and not to make distinctions between one another based on outward characteristics (James 2:1-13).