In my last post, I wrote about living flexibly, in order to be useful. Since then circumstances have forced me to consider another challenge to my flexibility, which is trouble or difficulty. Trouble can take many forms.
One difficulty for me is from my own weakness – I have one good, productive day and the next day I get distracted by games on my phone and lose time in vague unhappiness and procrastination on all the tasks of life that aren’t fulfilling (like paying bills!). I then get introspective and wonder why I am so weak and undisciplined. Then I wonder if I set goals that are too high, that allow no respite or grace, that are a reflection of perfectionism – thinking that every day has to be good and productive. (I saw a post on Facebook which said, “You are not a machine…we’ve been conditioned to believe that constant productivity equals worth, but humans weren’t designed for endless output.” That sounds biblical enough!) Then I wonder if I am experiencing a symptom of our age – all our technology has impacted our brains because we have too much information and distraction constantly bombarding us. Whatever the reasons, my swirl of thoughts around my own weakness or lack of productivity is primarily negative and demotivating, and this is one recurring form of trouble which I experience.
Of course, trouble also comes from circumstances beyond our control. It could be health issues or weather related. Both can range from very serious, like cancer or wildfire, to more minor. In the past three weeks, Bill has been fighting off a minor virus and I have been trying not to get it. Then I overdid my exercising and have been hobbling around. I also had a minor surgery which means I can’t exercise in my usual way. At the same time, the weather in the mountains has been unusually gloomy, with rain almost every day.
These small trials hinder my plans! I want to make progress on my garden, or I want to have people over, or we want to visit our grandchildren. These plans have been put on hold or modified. Most frequently, I have an initial negative reaction to these hindrances. I wallow and waste time. But fortunately, I am not alone. Three helps have come to my rescue.
One help comes from friends, especially Christian friends. I was talking with a friend about how minor these trials are but how I was struggling and she remembered an analogy from a Christian book about shepherds and sheep: the author said we sheep often handle big trials better than the mere flies which bite us more regularly. What a compassionate response she gave me, simultaneously agreeing my trials were small, but also expressing comprehension that I was having a hard time with them. Her sympathy helped me to stop being stuck in self-recrimination.
A second help is the presence of the Holy Spirit. Since I started writing this, Bill has gotten sicker and my plans have been further thwarted by a need to care for him. It reveals my heart’s brokenness that my first concern is how this weighs me down and interrupts my/our plans, rather than a concern to help him feel more comfortable and cared for. Fortunately, the Spirit enabled me to pivot in my thinking and take good care of him!
A third help comes from the Scriptures. Some days I think flexibly and positively about what I can do instead of what I had planned, because of how the Scriptures have taught me to think of difficulty and suffering. I know well the verses from the apostle, James, who urged us to “count it all joy when we experience trials.” (James 1: 2-3) All trials can be opportunities for growth. Still trials take us by surprise. One counseling professor said we Christians are constantly railing at God when trials befall us – “Why is this happening? This isn’t THE PLAN, God!” The professor told the Christians before him, who were ministers or preparing to be ministers, “This is exactly THE PLAN.” The fruit of suffering in our lives can be considerable. I need to learn to expect it and even welcome it. I need to learn that it will be frequent, rhythmic even, because my good Father has designed it for my growth.
Yesterday, instead of gardening or going to the gym, I listened to two messages which fed my spirit. I talked on the phone with my friend. I rested and iced my injured ankles. I spent some time writing. The weather, though not enjoyable, is really good for our area, putting moisture in our soil more effectively with daily rainfall, than it would with one torrential downpour. The view from my front window is unusually green for Colorado. Despite knowing the benefits of this rain, my neighbors and I are both grumbling and grateful. We love to grumble, and often we prefer to be surrounded by fellow grumblers. (See my recent post https://www.renewingeve.com/misery-loves-company/)
When I was a child, my family watched The Wonderful World of Disney every Sunday night. One Sunday, the feature was Pollyanna, starring Hayley Mills. Pollyanna was a child who tried to be relentlessly positive. As I recall, she eventually experienced some personal tragedy which overwhelmed her, she gave way to grief, and someone else stepped in to buoy her spirits. I remember that some of the adults in my life would make disparaging remarks about some positive person they knew who was a “Pollyanna.” We often don’t react well to people who put a positive spin on a difficult situation. I think for that same reason, we don’t always approve of someone quoting a hopeful Bible verse to a person who is suffering. That has become an accepted guideline, not to quote the Bible to someone who has just had a loss, but are we so sure that is right, or are we just getting stuck in a hope-resistant “woe is me?” Hope must be given carefully and compassionately, for sure. My friend modeled that by listening to my complaint, showing me I was not alone in my difficulty handling what I had on my plate, yet also giving me perspective. Yes, we must be careful as we give hope, but hope must be given!
As Christians, the hope we give to others must be true hope. It cannot be some version of “believe in yourself – you’ve got this!” That is a popular way to cheer each other on, but there are many trials in life which exceed our human resources, even the sturdiest among us. When I think of my own frailty and inability to sustain a string of exemplary days, I can find hope in the redemption God has already provided and the anticipation of future days in the new heavens and new earth when neither human sin nor thorns nor thistles will contaminate my daily work. When I think of external circumstances I cannot control, I can meditate on the truth that God is in control and someday we will see that clearly. The sure hope of heaven helps us bear our troubles here. And conversely, I believe that because we will be able to compare the earthly troubles we have experienced with the joys of heaven, we will appreciate paradise all the more. We will see, too, the beauty of his graces to us along the rocky way – the encouragement of our fellow travelers, the powerful presence of the Spirit and the truth of his Word.